As I mentioned in my Bitch post, the crab that symbolizes Cancer could not be more fitting for me. I have this hard exterior that is difficult to penetrate and claws that hopefully frighten away any potential threats, but these are all defense mechanisms — “the world is a scary place to Cancer planets—they’re emotionally vulnerable, sensitive, and easily hurt.” I’m just trying to keep people from getting to my tender, delicate insides which can be so easily ripped apart and devoured.

Cancer is a water sign, and “Water Signs are emotional, empathetic, receptive and feel things deeply.” Water signs are also susceptible to mood swings, and  I don’t know how much of it is my Cancerian nature and how much is my depression, but I am quite moody both in the sense that I am given to gloomy or sullen moods and in the sense that my moods can vary quickly and sharply. I tend to be very happy or very sad and can go from one extreme to the other in a heartbeat. And despite the fact that I try to practice an “attitude of gratitude” and really don’t have much to complain about, I am also prone to bouts of self-pity that quickly morph into bouts of self-hatred.

But my emotional and empathetic nature is also a big part of what makes me a good friend, sister, wife, and mother. I believe all of my friends and family would call me a good listener. In fact, my friend Dave one time said of me that when I’m talking with someone, I make him or her feel like the only person in the world.  I can count my true friends – you know, the ones you’d rush over at 3am to help or comfort – on one hand, and I like it that way. I need it to be that way. I devote myself so fully to my friendships that a few intense friendships are all I can handle. Because my friendships are intimate and intense, there is almost nothing they could do that I couldn’t forgive and forget. My dearest friend from college (and my birthday twin!) and I went years without speaking, but when we finally met up again this spring it was as if not a day had passed.

Speaking of my birthday, my 39th was on June 27. While most people seem to want to go out for their birthdays, I happily spent most of the day in my own home with my sister and wife & son.  But then “Cancer . . .  is all about home.” Home is my favorite place to be and the only place I can be completely comfortable. Home is, of course, not a particular house, but wherever my heart — my wife and son — resides. My wife and I have been together 16 years, and I truly believe we will be together until the day one of us dies. Though I know they say no one expects to get divorced, I would be truly shocked if my wife and I ever split. Few things could shock me more.

Now I know that to some, hearing a female talk about having a wife screams “non-traditional,” but, except for having matching genitals, we are about as traditional a couple and a family as you can get. Though we both work outside the home, she is the primary breadwinner. She also takes care of the house and vehicles and lawn. She’s also the one to take our son fishing, play catch in the yard, and teach him the fundamentals of hockey. I, again true to my Cancerian nature, am the one to nurture his emotional needs, soothe him when sick or injured, and get him off to sleep at night. I am fiercely protective of him . . . and of her . . . and of my sister and my friends too. Though I often have a hard time standing up for myself and, like most Cancers, tend to avoid confrontation, come after my family or friends, and I will go all mama bear on your ass. But “Maternal instincts are typical of the Cancer.”

It is somewhat ironic for me that “The sun enters Cancer on or around June 21, at the summer solstice” because my favorite time of year is Halloween through Easter both because I hate the heat of summer and because I love all the traditions surrounding the holidays. One of my favorite phrases is every year as in every year I get one of those personalized Christmas ornaments from one of those little kiosks in the mall and every year we go to Halloween at the Y. Many of my favorite childhood memories come from such yearly traditions too – like the way my mom would allow us to open one present before midnight mass (which would always be a new dress to wear to mass) and then Santa would come while we were at church and we’d stay up until dawn opening presents and playing with our new toys, conveniently falling asleep just about the time my mom needed to get up to prepare Christmas dinner.

Traditional, home-loving, and emotional – that is the Cancer, and that is me.